Simon Says

I’ve been to many types of churches throughout my life. Methodist, Pentecostal, Non-denominational, Baptist, Southern Baptist, PCA, Episcopal, Evangelical-Free, small (50 or less) to large (3000+). They all have their unique good and bad points, but of course I’m going to pick on the larger churches, as their effect (positive or negative) is much more far reaching and impacting.

As an engineer I understand formulas. In math and physics there are plenty of formulas which always add up, but for some strange reason these formulas can’t explain or predict every nuance. Well it seems one common thread between all “big” churches is their reliance on formulas. Prayer + Bible reading + participation in service ministries + reading the latest Christian book + small group + whatever else they can think of.. = salvation.

I’ve been investigating possibly purchasing some kind of franchise. This has been a very educational journey so far. I’m meeting with a VP of one franchise next week. Anyway, there’s a formula franchise companies use to lure in new franchisees:

Step 1. The pitch & the cost. You come to them, indicate an interest and they start the sales pitch full force. Before it’s over they’re hoping you’ll think you’ll be the next big millionaire through buying into their franchise. They leverage the American desire to be our own bosses, playing against the American sense of independence and pride. Then they want to play it up like it’s easy without telling you how much additional money you’ll need to pony up in order to really make the business work. Advertising and marketing dollars represent a huge, but necessary expense if you want to maximize your earnings potential. Then there’s the toll on your personal life. You marry the business.

Step 2. The formula & the buy-in: Supposedly the biggest benefit of running a franchise, instead of starting your own business, is that someone else has made the mistakes and figured out how to do it right. They write this all out, supposedly in full detail and almost guarantee you you’ll be successful if you follow their formula to the ‘T’. They’re also hoping you will fully buy into this formula and their company, so they can more easily grow their financial empire.

Now that I’ve been investigating franchises I see that many of our churches, especially the larger ones, basically follow a very similar model. “Here’s the latest and greatest way to “reach” people. The leaders all go to similar schools for training on possibly owning… I mean serving/leading their own franchise… I mean body of believers. As with franchise owners all of the church leaders attend rallies.. I mean seminars.. I mean time of encouragement and fellowship, to compare notes on what works best. It’s funny how what works best always seems to involve getting more people to come to church and then getting everyone to tithe more.

I’ve noticed fairly consistently that many churches spend a significant amount of time and energy into pumping up the crowd. Energy is contagious and if you can get a few people jumping around then others will most likely get caught up with this, if just to fit in. People tend to feel uncomfortable not fitting in and sticking out like the outcast. Of course let us not forget the side benefit: That is a happy attendee/member is typically a more generous attendee. I mean people spend $1000’s each year on therapy to make them feel better about themselves.

I recently attended a mega church gathering because some friends (a couple) of mine invited me. I believe the primary intention was to introduce me to my friend’s girlfriend’s roommate. Anyway, I had attended this specific church a few years ago for several months. I just found it all to be too contrived and it’s still the same way. The pastor is still considered the mini-pope and it was all about pumping up the crowd. Although I thought they tried applying some interesting concepts about worship and what that looks like, I didn’t agree with the application. I felt like I was playing a game of Simon Says (shameless title plug ;) ). With this said, however, I may have to pick apart this service in a future post because I believe there was some merit. Also, I feel I should also mention that I need to be careful not to totally condemn everything this church is doing. They did preach Christ, it’s just that I’m afraid this church does more harm than good.

My impression, of this church, is that Christ is preached, but He’s more like a character in a story who is almost on a spaceship somewhere looking down on us and far too busy to actually deal with us directly, but instead He bestows this privilege/duty to the pastor(s). God will make time for us after we die, but for now we’re too sinful and He’s too busy to deal with us. (remnants of the Catholic church & some Gnostic doctrines) Somehow I can’t reconcile any form of this type of belief with anything I read in the Bible. Isn’t Jesus my personal savior? Isn’t He my king, my friend, my redeemer, the lover of my soul? I mean I don’t see Christ, I see the guy speaking up front. Yes they preach Jesus, but do they really know Him? We read numerous examples in the Bible of nonbelievers using the name of Jesus to attain profit and recognition (Simon the sorcerer in Acts 8, see Balaam in 2 Peter 2, those professing Christ with their lips only Luke 13:22-33). It seems what really matters is attending church, doing good things and paying God, and His church, the due tribute. I believe they’re good at getting people into the church building, motivating, providing community and a purpose. I’m just not sure if they’re really helping anyone really get to know Jesus by encouraging a personal relationship with Him. These other things can actually become a huge stumbling block when people relegate church to nothing more than a social gathering, a means of manipulating God through “good” works and acting as a surrogate parent with bringing up moral/good/well behaved children.

Have you ever attended a business conference with a motivational speaker or gone to a company meeting where they give you the “sunshine pump” (paint a pretty picture on an ugly outlook)? No? You should go to one just so you will be able to do this comparison. Talk is cheap and I assure you most people care much more about themselves than you, especially if they don’t know you. I’ve seen this all too often. I’ve seen the dogs come after my mom and I see these same types leading our churches and it disgusts me to no end. I almost expect this from people outside the church, but I become incensed with people like this in the church. No I’m not suggesting we all leave church, but that man up front isn’t God and we had all better take that to heart right now! Further I’m not even sure that sinner should even be up there preaching each and every week. By our very nature we crave what will ultimately destroy us: Power! The fall occurred because Adam and Eve wanted to be like God and us (their children) desire the same damn (word used appropriately) thing. No human being is beyond this sin. No one!

Regarding leaders, step back and go back to the word on the type of men God used to be leaders & pastors. Look at them! OT or NT it doesn’t matter. Look at Moses, Abraham, David, the prophets, Peter, Paul & the other apostles. These were the earlier “pillars” of the church which Jesus used to build His church, but analyze their lives. Were ANY of them living high in the hog or have these great lives with no suffering or trials? Did any of them exalt themselves and when they did what happened? What happened to them when they wouldn’t relent in sharing God’s words? What happened to John the Baptist when he showed love to Herod through confronting his wickedness as a leader of God’s people? These were all His and He doesn’t let those who belong to Him die in unfaithfulness. See Jonah and David for great examples of two souls which belonged to Him who He didn’t allow to die in their iniquities. Then look at the life Jesus lived. The more people realized His uncompromising nature, the more He confronted their sins, the more they hated Him. Even though He was showing them more love and compassion then they could ever realize. What did Jesus say about those of us who came after Him? (Matthew 10:16-26). Not to get off on too much of a tangent, but this is a problem I have with Joel Osteen and those like him. They seem to neglect this part of the Bible. However, this isn’t to say we don’t need more encouragement in our lives. I for one admit a need for more encouragement but serving God isn’t about material gain or happiness in this life.

Regardless of whether God chooses to bless us in a material manner of not, we need to follow Jesus. Instead of praying for material gain (a new car, a spouse, a house, a better job, more money, etc…) try praying for the true blessing God could reveal to you through these things. In other words, how can these material possessions be used to further His kingdom? If you’re in gain then you should give to those who aren’t. If you are in gain the blessing God wants to show you is the blessing of giving to one who cannot give back. If you are in want then God wants to reveal to you the blessing of learning to be able to humbly receive His provisions, whether by human hands or not. He doesn’t want us to live in fear and doubt, but He wants us to be free, to live in His peace and promises. Joel Osteen preaches that we need to take hold of His promises towards material prosperity and that’s it. Why does he stop there? That’s like saying Jesus died on the cross for our sins, but ending there and not discussing His resurrection from the dead. Now again I don’t mean to bash Osteen, well at least not excessively. He also has some interesting things to say on prayer, hope, faith and encouragement that I think every Christian should consider, study on (in the Bible) and pray about. The real question is how much should we soak ourselves in the words and follow the example of man who doesn’t really seem to focus on the gospel message of Jesus Christ? There are lots of truths to be found, but joy and salvation can only be found in Jesus Christ.