From my observations the gift of encouragement seems to be severely lacking in the church, especially among men. Perhaps many of us men are lacking the confidence to encourage others? Perhaps this gift is perceived as a weakness and unmanly? Perhaps we’re all just too selfish and prideful to care? One solution is to get into prayer about it. The other is to read the word.
Unfortunately, from a sinful flesh perspective, God does what’s best for us and most satisfying to His glory, not what we necessarily want Him to do. I believe this means He will allow us to go through trials to mold us into the man or woman He wants us to be. There is no magic wand to fix us. If you don’t have the gift of encouragement, or worse, don’t even realize you’re lacking this gift, then you’re in for a wake up call as God begins to work on your sensitivity and love towards others. It’s interesting for me to observe that the folks I know lacking in the gift of encouragement the most, are also the most prideful. Conversely the most encouraging people I know are also typically characterized by humility.
Pride is such a wicked disease of the human. Why do we actually think we exist for any other reason then to glorify God? We aren’t great, we are dust in the wind, our perceived wisdom is folly to God and if we can’t love and encourage others then how well do we know our maker?
The book of Job is one of my favorite books of the Bible. This book was such a blessing to me during a difficult trial in my life about 4 years ago while I was unemployed. For the purpose of this posting, I’d like to focus briefly on the teachings of encouragement from this book.
The correct attitude:
Job 2:11-13
These above verses follow a biblical model of sharing in the pain of another. Sometimes words aren’t necessary to encourage.
Job 5
This chapter depicts a reproachful attitude by affluent friends towards the friend who is suffering, as if the source of the pain resides in the error of the persecuted (ie. kicking a man when he's down). I see this often with people who lack the gift of encouragement. The next time you feel led to reproach someone first determine if they are in rebellion and in need of admonishment, but do so lovingly. Admonishment should never be a knee jerk reaction. If it is then you are most likely in the wrong and should examine your own heart first before pointing out the speck in your brother’s eye. Putting the blame on the person under persecution is most likely a knee jerk/callous and sinful reaction. Think before you speak.
The following is Job’s reproach to the discouragement brought by his friends:
Job 6:14-15 & Job 6:21-30
This is not to say that Job wasn’t in the wrong with much of what he said, but God brought admonishment to him (through teaching), then justified him before his friends and condemned them, not Job.
Job 42:7-9
From this example in Job, Christians ought to be very careful how we approach those facing difficulties and trials in their lives. If you feel inadequate to encourage or don’t know how to deal with discouraged folks or feel led to reply to their pain with sarcasm or blame, then I have a very simple solution to follow: Don’t say anything. Just listen and perhaps say a prayer that God would encourage them. That’s it. Let God reveal their error, if any, to them, unless you’re willing to spend the necessary time to listen and truly understand the situation. Then you’ll be able to better understand their plight, encourage, perhaps challenge their thinking and offer advice to ponder.
The power of prayer in the midst of trials:
You might be surprised how effective a tool of encouragement prayer can be. Are you getting sick of or frustrated with hearing someone complain about their trial(s)? Try to ask them if you could pray for them right there and then. You will probably be surprised to find that they will relax, be appreciative or even stop complaining. Prayer is a great tool to help encourage those under trials (doesn’t matter whether you feel it’s truly a trial or not) to give their concerns over to the Lord (this really matters). This is especially a good tool if you don’t have the time to really learn more about someone’s problems, but yet feel compelled to help them. Simply taking the time and initiative to bring someone else’s problems before the Almighty is huge. This will help the other person to not feel the huge burden of their life on their shoulders and help them to focus on Jesus Christ as the author and perfecter of their faith. (Hebrews 12:1-3)
A little bit of love and time can go a long way.
1 comment:
Good (and highly relevant) post, Bill. I s'pose to have a gift for encouragement one needs to be effective at it. I like to think I am, but just as often find myself talking too much or delivering hurtful words. But I totally agree a few kind words from the heart can make a huge impact. We should all set the bar high here.
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