Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Help a brother out: How to tell when a woman’s interested?

If any women still read my blog I hope to hear from some of ya'll on this. What's your opinion? True or not true?

I read the secular article at the very bottom of this post the other day and sent it out to some of my guy friends. So often many of us guys are clueless when it comes to determining if a woman is interested or not. Of course these signs really only apply once a date is actually occurring, something I don’t often participate in. However, #’s 2, 3 & 4 are probably very good indicators of interest prior to dating. However, be careful about expecting too much interest from just one sign.

I don't think any of the 5 signs from the below article, by themselves are a real indication of interest. I've known women who touch everyone because that's the way they were raised and has nothing to do with interest. I've known other women who have seemed very interested in my family and personal life, but that was just because they're nosy. I've known women who care about their appearance, but that could either be because she’s vain or because as a rule she always dresses up for a date, still not a real gage for interest, by itself. Yet again I've known women who locked in on my during a conversation, only to find out they do that with everyone. I'm sure there are also women who will go along with a longer date because they have nothing better to do and they enjoy the company enough, but aren't really into the guy. However, if you're with a woman who touches you, cares about her appearance (more so then usual) when she's with you, is attentive, asks personal questions (including family oriented), and seems to want to spend more time with you then I think you definitely have interest. I think it's a combination of these.

Keep in mind these signs were developed by a non-Christian.

1. She touches herself up
If she’s excusing herself to the restroom between courses, it’s doubtful she has a weak bladder. Nope, more likely she’s in there freshening up her makeup or making sure her hair is in place... all for you. “If she’s into you, she’ll be concerned with how she looks,” says Alison James, author of the forthcoming Better Off Wed? Fling... or Ring: How to Know Which Finger to Give Him. “Or, if she’s at the table, she’ll be fixing her shirt or brushing her hair back, maybe checking that her bra strap isn’t showing or adjusting her necklace—the kind of stuff you do when you’re worried about your appearance.”

2. She asks about your family
“When a woman likes a guy she doesn’t want to get to know just him,” says Jillian Straus, author of Unhooked Generation: The Truth About Why We’re Still Single. “She wants to know about his family and friends—she’s looking for clues about what life with him would be like.” Indeed, especially if you’ve been set up or are on a blind date and know very little about each other, your relationship with your family says a lot about you—and a woman interested in you won’t hesitate to probe. “I think family is very revealing about a person’s personality,” says Tina Andreadis, 35, of New York City. “If he’s close with his family, it shows that he’s probably a warm person who values relationships and who would want a family of his own. If I am not interested in him, I won’t even ask because I just don’t care.”

3. She’s attentive
Let’s put it this way: No matter how busy she is, she’s not whipping out her Blackberry if she’s interested in what you have to say. “If she’s not checking her watch, email or cell phone, it’s just one more sign that she’s paying attention to you,” says James. “When you like a guy, you’re hanging on his every word. When you don’t, you’re distracted easily.” Same goes for any preoccupations she has with the immediate environment, whether she’s people-watching or admiring the restaurant d*cor or even the food. If she’s saying things like, “This restaurant is beautiful. Hey, doesn’t that girl over there look like Marisa Tomei?” she may be enjoying herself, but not necessarily because you’re there.

4. She’s touchy-feely
If you find your date engaging in a little physical contact along with witty banter, chances are you’ve made a very good impression. From tapping your knee to emphasize a point or touching your forearm to get your attention, if a woman’s attracted to you, she won’t hesitate to reach out and let you know. Megan, 35, from New York City, employs this trick with guys she finds attractive. “I pretend to steady myself when I don’t need to be steadied,” she says. “When I’m climbing onto a bar stool, I’ll grab onto his shoulder or leg when I clearly don’t need to,” she laughs.

5. The date lasts longer than you expected
Ask any woman desperate to wind down a date, and she’ll tell you she skips dessert or declines an after-dinner drink. Naturally, then, if she’s having a great time and doesn’t want to see you go, she’ll gladly take the waiter’s suggestion and try the chocolate cake, or join you at a wine bar for a nightcap. And if you’ve agreed to meet for drinks and after a few cocktails she takes you up on your offer of dinner? That’s a bright green light, my friend. “Only if I’m into the guy will I agree to go to dinner if he suggests it on a ‘meet for drinks’ date,” says Diana, a 38-year-old from Boston. “If I’m meeting a guy for a drink and I’m not into him, I’m definitely not going to agree to get food after.”

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