I’ve observed that most churches seem to hold up marriage as the epitome of Christian-dom. And why shouldn’t they? Statistically, married church attendees are the majority and put more into the coffers. If these married folks have children then they’re even more vested in the church because their kids are heavily involved in the children’s ministries (particularly if they have friends in the church). This is obvious by the investment churches make in children’s ministries and marriage seminars and the like. Single people definitely have a tendency to move around a lot and so their participation (both physically and financially) is more temporary, that is unless they get married. There seems to be this pervasive attitude, taken by most churches that singles need to be fixed through marriage. So, it seems as though even the single’s ministries are designed around marriage.
Committing to attending the same church every Sunday morning and giving $10 doesn’t make a Christian. Marriage is an institution, a lifetime commitment made between a man and a woman, before the Almighty, to reflect the eternal commitment Jesus Christ has made with his bride the church. Now of course, again, most people or church leaders wouldn’t say they believe marriage saved anyone. Only Jesus saves! Proclaiming this with the mouth and acting this belief out are two different things. Now I believe it’s extreme to say church actions support a belief that marriage performs the same function as Jesus Christ’s sacrifice. I don’t believe this; however, realistically I do believe that most churches at least place marriage at the same level as say, baptism, in the spiritual order of things.
Pay close attention here, life is absolutely not about marriage and good friends! This is a very common misconception believed by many Americans, inside and outside of the church. It’s certainly pushed in every holiday movie or show on TV and rarely addressed in the church as unbiblical. As Christians it is vitally important that we hold firmly that life is about Jesus Christ alone. You see we were not made for fellowship with man, but fellowship with God. Our fellowship with and love for man should spring from our love for God. This is a more true love. Anything else is nothing more then selfish ambition.
Luke 14:25-27
Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
Are you looking for answers and fulfillment from man, who is woefully insufficient to the task? A wife will never be able to provide you with the ability to thwart depression and lust through her love and encouragement to you. She will be your helpmate, friend, lover and sister in Christ, nothing more. Likewise no brother or friend could ever provide you with the wisdom and leadership you’re looking for. To have such high expectations from people is to put such a strain on them, as you discover their inability to provide you with what you’re looking for, that the relationship may very well fail. Ultimately you’ll react towards your loved ones with anger, resentment and disappointment and this will only further Satan’s desire to isolate you from fellowship. Godly fellowship, especially with a spouse, is never about self, it’s always about the other person. I promise you that if you truly start to adopt this perspective you’ll find that fellowship will become much easier & fulfilling and your future spouse will more naturally enter into your life or it will become much less of a struggle for your spouse to love and respect you.
John 3:29-31
"He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice So this joy of mine has been made full. "He must increase, but I must decrease. "He who comes from above is above all, he who is of the earth is from the earth and speaks of the earth He who comes from heaven is above all.
Though I’m against marriage being set up as any kind of an idol, I do believe single men and women should be groomed for marriage from childhood. However, I believe this grooming process to simply be to raise our children to love others in Christ and seek out a passionate relationship with Jesus in love. I believe through this they will be more open and mature enough to enter into a godly relationship with a man or woman.
Matthew 6:33
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
10 comments:
"I’ve observed that most churches seem to hold up marriage as the epitome of Christian-dom."
The convolutions of the institutional church never cease, is it just me, or do you read in the Scriptures where Jesus Christ presided over a marriage ceremony, or any of his men? I haven't. For a member of clergy to conduct a marriage ceremony is unbiblical, along with teaching from a pulpit and many other such things.
In Christ...for the long haul
Long Hual,
You're correct, in that there is no mention made in the bible of Jesus, or His disciples, presided over a marriage. However, the bible does mention Jesus’ attendance at one wedding (John 2:1-11) and I've not read anything in the Bible which criticizes marriage ceremonies, whether in Jewish or gentile cultures.
My take on marriage ceremonies is that they are for the participants, family and friends as a means of closure of one type of relationship and the beginning of another. The role of the clergy in the ceremony is pretty much to represent Christ’s authority in this relationship and to reiterate the teachings of scripture on this topic. Weddings are actually a great opportunity to share the gospel of Jesus Christ to any unsaved people in attendance and an encouragement to those already saved. A great witnessing opportunity because weddings are still a widely and generally accepted means toward legalizing a marriage in both Christian and non-Chritian cultures.
My take on pulpit preaching is that it was originally done to help the audience to hear and focus on what was being spoken. Probably not as necessary anymore with the advent of sound amplification equipment, though. In my opinion, older, godly, learned pastors could be put to better use engaging the congregation in dialogue and discipling younger Christians. I feel most sermons are in one ear and out the other to most folks anyway.
Basically, I see nothing wrong with a clergymen presiding over a wedding, nor do I see anything wrong with teaching from a pulpit. I definitely see false idolatry (whether money or dating), lack of discipleship, lack of fellowship, lack of accountability, lack of godly admonishment, lack of love and an overall lack of Jesus Christ as much bigger issues. It's not so much in what the institutional church IS doing rather then what it ISN'T doing that concerns me most. Though I definitely take issue with not a few things done in the church.
Even though your comments were slightly off topic (false idolatry). You brought up some interesting issues.
Keep digging into the word, keep asking questions, keep pointing out concerns, keep praying and looking for opportunities to show the love of Jesus Christ to others for His glory.
Whoa. One can't state simply from the absence of scriptural support, that something isn't Biblical. A marriage ceremony, symbolical much like baptism, seems BEST suited for clergy to preside over in my opinion. The teaching bit is a huge stretch and I don't buy it. You'll have to expound.
Hmmm... that should read "absence of scriptural mention", not support...
Greg,
You know me fairly well, so I would ask you to be sure you've read the entire article, my previous response and then expound on your question as I'm not 100% sure what you’re asking me. However, for now, I will make the following three assumptions: 1. You feel as though I'm stating that baptism and marriage ceremonies are equal and you have a concern about this. 2. You feel as though I'm stating a belief that pulpit teaching is wrong. 3. You're under the impression that I support the comment that anything absent from the Bible is unbiblical.
Ok #3 is the easiest to address. Grammatically I'm forced to agree that anything absent from the Bible is unbiblical. However, I wouldn't adopt this as a blanket statement. Obviously there are such things as common sense in applying the bible to every aspect of our lives. I hold that the bible is the living word. Meaning that the more the Holy Spirit reveals to us and we grow, the more we can apply the bible's teachings to every aspect of our lives. I guess it really depends on your perspective when answering this question.
#1
I actually wrote: "I do believe that most churches at least place marriage at the same level as say, baptism, in the spiritual order of things." Perhaps I should've used ‘importance’, instead of ‘order’? Does this shed a different light? Also I'm not talking about the doctrinal importance, but the importance based on time spent on the subject, in which case I guess that would make marriage more important. That's based purely on observations.
How about this as a summation of my perceived impression of marriage in the church: "If you're a normal man or woman of God you'll get married". I have a problem with this perception.
#2
I've already expounded on my opinions of pulpit teaching in previous postings. I'm not a big fan of current pulpit teaching. I can't remember the last time I heard an impacting sermon. If I hear another analogy using sports or movies or worldly music or some other form of pop culture... Perhaps I should've said that I'd like to hear truly impacting sermons which cut me to the heart, like the "sermons" Peter gave which cut men to their hearts (Acts). So if I heard Jonathan Edwards, Peter or Paul types of sermons, I guess I'd be a huge fan of pulpit teaching. Sermons without fear of man, directly confronting the immorality and godlessness in the world, even the people sitting in the church, around us. These types of sermons I could listen to everyday.
As it stands, though, I see a much bigger need in the church for fellowship and discipleship and I honestly feel as though most learned godly men and women ought to start spending time building into other men and women who can then build into others. I'm talking about real time and not these fast food discipleship meetings which were designed specifically to shut up the folks who want more discipleship and make those who are "discipling" feel better about themselves. Now they can say "Well the opportunity was there, but they simply chose not to participate".
Now, if these men engage in real discipleship and the men they are discipling start discipling, then these pastors can hit the stage again. Otherwise their words, for the most part, are falling on deaf ears or their watering down their messages with so much pop culture that the biblical relevance is lost. You have to plant the seed before you can start watering.
Billy! I was responding to anon's comment. You just happened to post right before I did... Heh heh...
thanks for your own further thoughts, though. Heh heh...
If that's the case I wasted a comment on something which could've been another article about church leadership.
DOUGH!!!!
Thanks alot Gregor!! ;)
Anyway I hope anon comes back to expound on his/her thoughts for you.
Thanks for the encouragement GFG.
Regarding the comments by anonymous, I think that to say that just because Jesus didnt marry anyone means that it is unbiblical for clergy to marry seems to be a unnecessary step. There is no logical basis for making such a jump. I think for something to be "unbiblical" would mean for the Church to be practicing something that Scripture teaches against.
Marriage is an institution set up by God before the Church even existed. It makes sense that clergy would conduct the marriage cerimony because it is a covenant before God.
Regarding Bill's comments. I agree with most of what you said. I see where the Church in America does seem to make family life more important than the adult single life. I tend to think that children should be groomed to serve the Kingdom, like you said, and part of that service may be to start a family.
One thing I would like to add is that we should avoid seeking marriage for self-fulfillment, which I am sure most would agree with. Paul mentioned that it is better to not marry but knew most would need marriage. Obviously, the reason for this is because as single adults we can devote more time to God than a married man with children, who has to devote his time to his family.
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