I think a contributing factor is my burn out on engineering. Engineering: a profession "I picked", or which picked me, because I used to love drawing and enjoyed drafting in high school. Little did I know what a crap sandwich engineering would be. Unethical bosses & business practices. Almost zero creative outlet. I dread the thought of actually having to get yet another engineering job. Even more so moving for one.
My problem is that I can't figure out what I want to do with my life. When I graduated college I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Be an engineer.
I love music, art, creativity, mentoring/discipling, discussing Jesus Christ's impact on the world as well as individuals. How do I turn this into a profession? While I must admit the thought of going to seminary is attractive, but is it what I should do? I don't feel a specific ministry calling. Art teacher? No. I don't feel this compulsion to be around kid's for 8+ hours a day.
The issue is my interests are either hobbies or part time endeavors. No wonder I'm in a malaise and now unemployed for the 5th time to boot.
I've always wanted to own my own business. Is there a way God could use this desire and open a door? I need to get out of this funk...
Anyway, I was reading Psalm 77 the other day. I found myself desiring the kind of passion the author expresses.
How do I get this kind of passion back?
I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted.
I remembered you, O God, and I groanedThe psalmist groaned or moaned for God. He felt so isolated, alone dejected and yet instead of turning away from God he saught him out.
Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?
He questions God. Then immediately thinks back to God's faithfulness and blessings for the remainder of the psalm.
4 comments:
I'll pray that our Lord brings back the wonder and passion for your daily life, Bill. Also, that He will blaze the trail for you to follow professionally. Keep pressing on, bro!
Thanks Greg.
I'm in much the same position in life. I've done my schooling to qualify me for a practical profession, yet I can't see myself sitting in front of a computer—eight hours a day, five days a week—for the rest of my life.
I love music, art, and the rest of the things you mentioned. Sometimes I feel like there's no way for me to seriously pursue those things when my life is so occupied by the practical necessities of working to make money.
I believe God has a plan for me, though, after mentioning all of my doubts. I believe the more I make a conscious, disciplined effort to make him the center of my life, the more passionate and fulfilling my life will become. I believe it... but I struggle to do it.
Daniel,
I was going to comment on your comment, however, my response has turned into another blog article. Please feel free to read my next post. Basically I'm going to get into the curses and how they potentially play out today.
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