When Peter inquired of the Lord how often he should forgive his brother Jesus said 77 times, not 7. In this culture, 7 was a number of completion. Obviously Peter was inferring a limit to forgiveness whereas Jesus was teaching infinite.
This German politician would like to put a limit or perhaps eliminate marriage altogether. Should we marry for 7 years or 77? I wonder why she chose 7? Was it because neither of her marriages lasted past 7 years or does she have any kind of real evidence showing marriages don't last past 7 years?
This politician brought up some interesting perspectives on marriage. She was quoted as saying ""The basic approach is wrong ... many marriages last just because people believe they are safe,". First of all she's probably basing this comment on personal experience rather than actual knowledge on the topic. It's always interesting to note what others believe and why. In this particular instance I would guess she's projecting. When I say projecting I'm referring to our tendency to take our experiences and project them onto everyone. "My marriage didn't work out, so no one's will or ever has." "It's natural to look upon a woman with lust, so therefore it's right."
We, as Christians, need to understand why we pursue relationships, specifically marriage. Do we desire marriage because it's expected, because of societies pressures, because of selfish desires or because we're lonely? Does Jesus Christ play any role at all in our decision making or are we following the path this German politician is following? If we aren't pursuing holiness in everything we do, every decision we make, then how can the unbelieving world distinguish between their world and ours, our beliefs and theirs, our God and theirs? Is there any truth in us? Are we taking 1 Corinthians 13 (concerning love) into our hearts when we make relationship oriented decisions or are we looking to Hollywood to define what love is? Honestly, I believe we look to Hollywood to define love more than anything else far more often than we care to admit. How does anything that community does or say reflect biblical values and principles? I say their definition of love can be defined not through the bible, but through sin and or immaturity or ignorance. By Hollywood's definition of love we should only get involved with people who do something for us. That is we should date or marry people who do things for us or make us feel a certain way. Now how does this match up with the Bible? (This is the part where you need to actually start reading the bible, front to back.
Oh... a brief note on romance... my definition of romance is tied up with the biblical definition of love. I believe romance is something initiated by the man which is then reciprocated by the woman. I believe it involves each person putting the other person before themselves. "I want her to feel good today, so I'll send her flowers or a poem or make her dinner or etc..." My cynical side tells me Hollywood depicts romance as nothing more than a doorway to sex.
How does John 14:15-18 (concerning the promise of the Holy Spirit & Christ's return) impact our desire or desperation for companionship? How can we find victory over our sin and insecurities? We find our identity defined through Jesus Christ as found in Matthew 3:16-17. Believing Jesus Christ died for our sins means He stands in our place and these verses depict how God now looks upon us. When considering our sin He takes into account the act of Jesus Christ upon the cross.
More verses to reference with regards to love:
1 John 4:10 and 1 John 5:3
So when asked: "Should we limit marriages to 7 years?" We should be able to then be ready to in some way or shape convey the gospel of Jesus Christ. There's no point in arguing the stupidity of this topic. This would be a distraction and a waste of time. The person asking this type of question is either completly ignorant, hard hearted or in denial and pain over past mistakes. This type of person doesn't need to be argued with, they need to be loved on and have Christ preached to them. This is why we need to know what we believe and why we need to get this distracting Hollywood crap out of our heads.
You want to be loved and desired? Look to Jesus Christ. You want to have romance in a relationship? Take the confidence He offers you through Christ to be vulnerable enough to either receive or initiate this.
9 comments:
Hey Bill,
Thanks for the sideline recommendation of North Hills Community Church and sharing your "search for a church" in Cola. I recently moved to the Simpsonville area and a number of things made me visit NHCC- a invitation from the man that came to fix my internet connection, a conference two years ago... and remembering a blog about how carefully you were looking for a new church. Knowing what you looked for in a church and knowing that you recommended NHCC was a factor in me taking the drive to visit. I'm glad I did- love the depth of the lyrics in their worship songs, the solid teaching and NHCC's emphasis on community. I MAY have found a church home. I dont think it could get much better. (Can you recommend anything IN or closer to Simpsonville? :))
Just re-read what I wrote... I sound like an informercial. ha.
A little bit of background:
I moved back to Charleston in March. Initially I picked up where I left off at East Cooper Baptist Church, but it's not the same church and I'm not the same person. Now I'm looking at Redeemer Pres. and Santuary (a non dom. church plant based on the Acts 22 movement). Both are good. I'm not sure which I will stick with.
Anyway, NHCC is a good church. I've never heard a teacher so gifted as Peter Hubbard. However, I realize it's not for everyone. It touched me at a time when I needed some hard core teaching. However, it may very well be weak in the relational department.
A close friend of mine and his wife attend Springwell, a few miles away, in Greer, on Wade Hampton, going towards the Target on the left. He feels this church is great with regards to the emotional/relational side of Christianity. While I don't think it's necessarily a "bad" church, I've never cared for it. However, they've recently acquired a teaching pastor who helps the main pastor and he seems pretty good.
Sorry, anyway, Simpsonville... Sorry no real personal recommendations. I know someone who's attending Simpsonville Baptist. I also used to be friends with this woman who attended a Pres church there. Can't remember the name, but I respected her alot. I seem to remember it was a newer building, somewhat large and on the corner of two streets.
Sorry my best G'ville recommendation is still NHCC, warts and all I can't think of a better church.
Finally, I'll pass on something I've recently learned. You need to recognize where you're at spiritually and emotionally. This can be difficult, so I would strongly recommend you pray for and seek out a same sex accountability partner. This person should be willing to tell you like it is. Then you need to determine if you're lacking more in relational or doctrinal issues. For instance, I will share that I'm definitely struggling more with relational issues. This may very well help you determine which ministries you try to get involved with over others. For me I need to learn how to love others more like Jesus Christ and so I'm going to try my hand at being a Big Brother. Who knows, I could fall right on my face or God could use this to draw me closer to Jesus?
I guess I never thought of separating the "emotional/relational" side of Christianity versus teaching/doctrine. What do you mean by emotional/relational?... What church leaders do to foster relationships?... Opportunities for fellowship and/or ministry?...
Interesting that you say that NHCC may be weak in the relationship dept. Just last Sunday during the announcements one of the church leaders said the same. In order to try and foster more real relationships (as well as a slower pace to Sundays) NHCC has 45 min-1 hr in between Life-Ed and Church where there are no classes and no church. This just started about 3 weeks ago. The time is meant for fellowship and prayer. Pretty cool,I think.
That's great that you have started the big brother thing. "Who knows, I could fall right on my face or God could use this to draw me closer to Jesus?" OR he could do both! j/k :) I'm sure it will be a blessing both to you and the child/children. Sounds like its out of your comfort zone. Good for you!
As a man I tend to struggle at times connecting with my emotions. As a male engineer, logic and efficiency make a lot of sense to me, most of the time.
With this said studying the word has always had an appeal to me. Between this and any gift of wisdom which God may impart to me, I can make myself sound really wise and smart to others. However, since I'm a sinner and not nearly as smart as I think I am, the question needs to be asked "Bill what's your relationship with Jesus look like?". Fortunately I have an accoutability partner who asks me this question.
Anyway, what I'm really referring to is head knowledge versus heart knowledge. I believe we need both. Unfortunately I also believe it's very difficult, if not impossible, to find a church with a good balance of each. The charismatic churches seem to rely heavily on the emotional, but there also seems to be a lot of manipulation (from my personal experience in several charismatic churches). While on the other hand the head knowledge churches do a great job preaching the word, but tend to overlook or gloss over spiritual gifts and the tremendous tool of encouragement found in fellowship. I can't remember the last time I heard a teaching on spiritual gifts. While neither type of church does a good job showing us what a real relationship with Christ looks like, nor what we can do to encourage this.
Take a look at Moses' relationship with God. Other than Jesus (who is God), I can't think of anyone who had a more real relationship with God. Moses is mentioned as being a friend of God. I guess a very close second place would have to go to David and Job. Each of these men poured their hearts out to God because they knew He was the only who could save them from their tribulations. In other words, they talked to Him as I would speak with a real flesh and blood close friend or family member.
It's this real relationship which is vital. However, we all need the head knowledge. Unfortunately most of us don't receive back audible responses from God. So we have to read His word to get to know Him. Also we have to focus on loving and relating to others. Most importantly we need to throw away any notion that there is something we can do which will surpass what Jesus Christ has already done. In other words, there is nothing we can do to be more pleasing to God.
With all this said, I've found participation in certain activities helps. Basically the more I get involved and concerned with the well being of others, especially their salvation, the more I feel I'm leaving myself open to God's working in my heart. A friend of mine said "I believe there are repercussions both for doing evil and good." Evil deeds tend towards a wicked hard heart and misery. While good deeds (putting other above yourself) tends towards a geniune concern for others and a more joyful heart (with the right intentions and a focus on Christ).
Anyway, enough of my soapbox. I'm glad to hear NHCC recognizes a weakness and is trying to address it. Unfortunately, there's only so much a couple of church leaders can do. Hopefully the church really embraces this new fellowship time and uses it to encourage one another and especially taking this time to talk with folks they don't ordinarily talk with. A new person, such as yourself, should be invited to check out a small group. Speaking of which, I would highly encourage you to sign up for one of these. When done and led right, these groups can be a tremendous source of encouragement and accountability.
I'm sure you already know this, but no church or person is perfect. On this note, I can tell you from my experience at NHCC, there is a weakness with fellowship and a thread of arrogance running through the congregation. However, there are also some good solid believers and leaders in that church. They've had some great outreach programs. Both in the community and in the world. I seem to remember NHCC being heavily involved with a community in Russia, near the nuclear meltdown which occurred there several years ago. They've brought several of the children over here to live with some of the church families. It's truly inspirational to hear these testimonies.
So again, a good church, but not perfect.
Oh... thanks for the encouragement. Hopefully I'll have a good blog article, or two, to share about my experiences with BBBS.
I understand now. How ironic though... the churches and people with the head knowledge should be the most in love with Jesus, actively loving, enthusiastic people of all. If only we REALLY "knew."
Thanks for the suggestions on making the heart connection. I heartily agree.
Scratch that. I headily agree. Need to put some shoes on and begin making it heartily. Could use some work in the relational area of things myself. I easily think about things, or agree with them without action.
Question. Have you ever taken the Myers Briggs? INTP?
Headily - I like that.
Bill an INTP? If so, I'd have to laugh - I'm an ESFJ. Of course, I'm so middle of the road EISNTFPJ seems more accurate. What say you Bill?
ABCD? I don't know what ya'll are referring to. ;)
I guess these are ratings? I think I took this test about 10 years ago. I can't remember what I was. I'm pretty sure I'm a choleric melancholy, if that helps.
Greg- You are an ESFJ??? haha. I'm actually the INTP- firm /I/ and less of a difference with the others.
Bill- yep, the letters stand for personality traits. I was just reading your post and thought perhaps your PERSONALITY (maybe even more so than your gender?) contributes to how you connect the heart/head. As an INTP (and female), I know I can be head-strong and discount how I feel about something when really, feelings should be considered at times. I'm learning that life is a whole lot more fun when you do something for the pure enjoyment of it rather than because of necessity or practicality.
"The glory of God is man fully alive."
No, I think it's my gender. I'm just a bullheaded engineering type of male! ;)
Perhaps I should look into this test? I've never been a huge fan of these tests as they seem very speculative. As an engineer I like things which are exact. For instance, I want an exact analysis of my personality, not something which is based on my opinion alone. My opinion isn't necessarily a constant factor. Chances are I'm going to think more ideally or better of myself than I actual am. Greg may have a better idea of my personality type as we have a personal friendship?
Anyway, I like what you said "I'm learning that life is a whole lot more fun when you do something for the pure enjoyment of it rather than because of necessity or practicality." I tend to think I sometimes get caught in the weeds and miss the big picture. At times I feel this sense of freedom which can only be found in Christ. At these times the world doesn't seem so bad because I'm casting my concerns on Him. I'm seeing Him all around me in the beauty He has created. It's times like this when I can more readily appreciate life and have more fun with it.
Regarding feelings: I believe there needs to be a balanced approach to life. Too much emphasis on feelings can lead to disasterous decision making, as the bible teaches that the heart is full of deceipt. However, emotions come from the heart, so this is where God reaches out to us in love. Too much emphasis on head knowledge can also lead to disaster as we are more reliant upon our personal abilities, which are flawed and limited. Chances are this state will lead us to taking very few risks, a condition I find myself in more than not.
Risk in inherit with life. When we attempt to limit risk much of the time this is done through our own abilities. However, if I could learn to take my knowledge and logic and listen to Jesus in my heart, I would be able to jump of the cliffs in life more readily trusting that He will catch me.
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