I’ve observed that most churches seem to hold up marriage as the epitome of Christian-dom. And why shouldn’t they? Statistically, married church attendees are the majority and put more into the coffers. If these married folks have children then they’re even more vested in the church because their kids are heavily involved in the children’s ministries (particularly if they have friends in the church). This is obvious by the investment churches make in children’s ministries and marriage seminars and the like. Single people definitely have a tendency to move around a lot and so their participation (both physically and financially) is more temporary, that is unless they get married. There seems to be this pervasive attitude, taken by most churches that singles need to be fixed through marriage. So, it seems as though even the single’s ministries are designed around marriage.
Committing to attending the same church every Sunday morning and giving $10 doesn’t make a Christian. Marriage is an institution, a lifetime commitment made between a man and a woman, before the Almighty, to reflect the eternal commitment Jesus Christ has made with his bride the church. Now of course, again, most people or church leaders wouldn’t say they believe marriage saved anyone. Only Jesus saves! Proclaiming this with the mouth and acting this belief out are two different things. Now I believe it’s extreme to say church actions support a belief that marriage performs the same function as Jesus Christ’s sacrifice. I don’t believe this; however, realistically I do believe that most churches at least place marriage at the same level as say, baptism, in the spiritual order of things.
Pay close attention here, life is absolutely not about marriage and good friends! This is a very common misconception believed by many Americans, inside and outside of the church. It’s certainly pushed in every holiday movie or show on TV and rarely addressed in the church as unbiblical. As Christians it is vitally important that we hold firmly that life is about Jesus Christ alone. You see we were not made for fellowship with man, but fellowship with God. Our fellowship with and love for man should spring from our love for God. This is a more true love. Anything else is nothing more then selfish ambition.
Luke 14:25-27
Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
Are you looking for answers and fulfillment from man, who is woefully insufficient to the task? A wife will never be able to provide you with the ability to thwart depression and lust through her love and encouragement to you. She will be your helpmate, friend, lover and sister in Christ, nothing more. Likewise no brother or friend could ever provide you with the wisdom and leadership you’re looking for. To have such high expectations from people is to put such a strain on them, as you discover their inability to provide you with what you’re looking for, that the relationship may very well fail. Ultimately you’ll react towards your loved ones with anger, resentment and disappointment and this will only further Satan’s desire to isolate you from fellowship. Godly fellowship, especially with a spouse, is never about self, it’s always about the other person. I promise you that if you truly start to adopt this perspective you’ll find that fellowship will become much easier & fulfilling and your future spouse will more naturally enter into your life or it will become much less of a struggle for your spouse to love and respect you.
John 3:29-31
"He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice So this joy of mine has been made full. "He must increase, but I must decrease. "He who comes from above is above all, he who is of the earth is from the earth and speaks of the earth He who comes from heaven is above all.
Though I’m against marriage being set up as any kind of an idol, I do believe single men and women should be groomed for marriage from childhood. However, I believe this grooming process to simply be to raise our children to love others in Christ and seek out a passionate relationship with Jesus in love. I believe through this they will be more open and mature enough to enter into a godly relationship with a man or woman.
Matthew 6:33
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
