Therefore, when they had come together, they asked Him, saying, “Lord, will You at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?” Acts 1:6
As a Christian I find many times my will and God’s don’t line up. As a man of the flesh I desire to have what I want when I want it, in my timing. I’ve come to realize I don’t fully realize the power of the enemy or of my flesh. I know my flesh has a very loud voice and it gets so much louder the more its comforts are denied or being stripped away. If you’ve ever known someone who is dying then you know the pull the flesh has on who we are. Many people when they know their time is coming will focus on their comforts and become completely selfish and seemingly completely unaware of anyone else. Why does sin seem to have such a power pull on me?
“Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Matthew 26:41
It’s so easy to read about the first disciples and think they were so stupid, like they just could never get it. Why were they so focused on fleshly concerned even though Christ continually corrected them? Look at the above verse in Acts 1. Even after Jesus rose from the dead they still couldn’t shake their desire to have the once glorious nation and power restored to them, a fleeting empire of man, when all along Jesus was referring to the kingdom of heaven.
As I was pondering this I thought back to Judas Iscariot, the great betrayer. I wondered if I’m any better than he was. What was his sin? What motivated him? Was he more evil than the rest? Judas was one of the 12. He was in the inner circle. He saw firsthand the many miracles of Jesus. He had to know Jesus was somebody, a great prophet at the least, a man of God certainly. Yet he still betrayed Him. Why? It’s too easy to dismiss Judas as just this evil betrayer, but there is a lesson we can all take away. It’s the dangers of having no self control or discipline and allowing sin to run wild, while believing all the lies of the enemy. I believe our preoccupation with the Judas' and Hitler's of the world has a lot to do with the fact that the same struggle with sin these men had we all also have. Why did they do it? “For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.” (1 John 2:16)
Was Judas’ ultimate display of sin his betrayal of Jesus? Peter betrayed Jesus by denying Him and yet what did Jesus say in Matthew 10:33? “But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven.” To me it seems very clear that Peter would be sent to hell for his sin and yet it seems clear he was forgiven and redeemed. So what’s the difference between Peter and Judas? They both betrayed Jesus, they both felt tremendous guilt and yet one went to perdition and the other the eternal redemption.
Here’s the key difference between Peter and Judas: Peter sought redemption and knew in his heart only Jesus could provide this. This is why I believe Peter was so ready to leap from the boat without waiting for the boat to turn around when John pointed out that Jesus was waiting for them on the shore. Peter was so full of guilt and he dealt with that guilt by going to Jesus. Conversely, how did Judas deal with his guilt? He sought no counsel and only relied on his own perspective before deciding to commit suicide. He couldn’t even wait 3 days. How would Judas’ life changed if he had been willing to wait just 3 days? However Judas had no faith. Believing Jesus was no more than a prophet and being filled with the same dread and guild as the other disciples he believed it was over. He had killed Jesus. I believe Judas’ greatest sin wasn’t the act of betraying Jesus, but trying to manipulate, use and rule over God and not believing Jesus was who He said He was. I believe Judas wanted to take a short cut and force Jesus’ hand and once he saw he couldn’t control God he killed himself.
I believe both Peter and Judas were equally evil. However, why do we feel good about Peter's story and empty with Judas'? It's not as much about good and evil as it is with who we look to for the answers. Men like Judas and Hitler looked to themselves and so they did wicked things up to their deaths and committed the ultimate act of spitting in God's face by taking their own lives. Conversely, men like Peter and David, who also committed great sin against God, never lost hope and ultimately looked to God as their redeemers and were changed as a result.
“Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.” Psalm 37:7
“The end of a thing is better than its beginning; The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.” Ecclesiastes 7:8
