I realize I haven’t posted on here in a while. Several folks have been encouraging me to post again. The last straw was today after church when another brother encouraged me. For me not to express myself is giving up; giving up a bit on life, people and God. Simply stated, it’s not good for me. I’ve been in a real spiritual funk now for quite some time and it seems to be getting worse rather than better. It feels like a cancer in my soul. I pray Jesus Christ would heal me in this area and bring folks into my life who can be a real encouragement. Then I pray I can be more of an encouragement to others.
It’s with deep regret that my first post in several months is to announce my dad’s passing. My dad passed away on April 18, 2008 in the late afternoon, immediately following a surgery to correct the arterial dissection which occurred in his body. My dad was born with a congenital condition called Marfan’s Syndrome. This condition is a degenerative condition affecting connective tissue. This disease can be first noticed affecting the aorta. Then it progresses to other connective tissues, such as the eye, making them progressively more brittle with age. Twenty five years ago my dad underwent surgery to replace his aorta valve with a mechanical one. Though my dad nearly lost his life during this surgery, it wasn’t his time yet. It was obvious the Lord’s hand was at work here.
On the morning of Thursday April 10th, 2008, my dad was getting ready for work, as he did every weekday, when he had a searing pain shoot through the length of his torso. He then asked my mom to do something he’d never asked for before, call an ambulance. As background, my dad has been in and out of hospitals for at least the last 15 years. It seems like every few years something serious would happen to my dad (getting into a car accident with a heavy duty dump truck, almost dying from a bleeding ulcer, having a minor stroke), but miraculously he always made it through, despite the shitty health care he received, especially while living in Columbia, SC (I’ll try not to share any more thoughts on this as it’s just speculation and no good can come from it). Anyway despite the bad health care I believe my dad received, God was always sovereign over his body. While I could bitterly state that my dad’s cardiologist should’ve advised him to have surgery several years ago. However, I must stand firm in my faith. I must believe that God is sovereign. If it was God who saw my dad through all of these other instances, which by every right should’ve taken his life many times over now, then I must believe that simply stated, it was my dad’s time and he is now with his maker. You see it’s not man (these doctors) who has ultimate authority over my dad’s physical body. God, through the works of Jesus Christ, has claimed authority and dominion over my dad’s body and soul. Not just his body, but his very eternal soul belong to God and the work which Christ sent his spirit to finish has been completed. Now my dad knows in full, just as he is fully known (1 Corinthians 13:12). He is now filled with joy inexpressible, while my heart is filled with sorrow.
It’s funny that we never realize what we had until it’s gone. Isn’t that a Rolling Stone’s song? Anyway, I never realized how much work God had done in my dad until after he was gone. My dad had a reputation for always having a smile on his face, always taking the time to speak with and listen to others and praying with them, during times of trouble. Unfortunately I never knew this until his co-workers shared this. Also, I never knew how much my parents loved one another, or how much my dad poured into his marriage and family. The funny thing is that the more the Holy Spirit worked on my dad, the closer he was to God and the more he loved Jesus Christ, the more he could actually give of himself. My mom told me that one time, while they were in bed together, my dad professed to her that while he loved her, he loved Jesus more. This is what a man of God says.
The day my dad was taken into the hospital he had just finished his morning routine. The routine started with him getting ready for work, fixing a cup of coffee for my mom and leaving her a lover’s note. My mom said he did this every morning. I don’t believe my mom ever asked him to do this. He did this because he wanted to, because it made him feel good and because this one way he communicated his love to my mother. At the same time he was being obedient to scripture. My mom said my dad made her feel beautiful. I never knew this until she shared this with me. (As a note, if you are married with children, or when you get married and have children, share your romance with your children. Of course, use good judgment and discretion in what you share. However, if appropriate, this will benefit and encourage your children more than you might think.)
My dad never beat anybody up to protect his family, but he never neglected to stick up for his family. He was never the most athletic man; at least after his first open heart surgery, but he always made time for his family. My dad wasn’t the best at handling pain, but he wasn’t a coward. He wasn’t the best buddy dad I had always wanted, like the kind you see in the movies, however, I’ve never known anyone who had as much integrity. While my dad had a temper, he was also quick to admit when he was wrong and willing to humble himself before his wife and children. While my dad could be a very difficult man, we all loved him very much. He may be one of the biggest pain in asses I’ve ever known, but I miss him terribly. I can say this because I loved my dad and because he never claimed to be a perfect man. He did claim, however, to know his savior Jesus Christ.
Living in the flesh and a sinner to the bone
We always take blessings for granted, until they’re gone.
Some men are small, some men are great
My dad was a good man, as that was his fate
A man of integrity and filled with love
His soul flew away from us just like a dove
However, this glory does not belong to him
He was a man who was full of sin
If he were still here he would tell you himself
“It was Jesus Christ who bore my sins
Do not look to me, but to Him
You enjoyed my light for the time which He granted
Now praise my savior, who has perfected”
So in my sorrow and in my grief
As he left as quickly as a thief
I look now for what he took, that missing part
To my dad’s savior and mine I now turn my eyes and heart.
Dedicated to Wesley C. Linton
Loving father, husband and a son of the most high God
Through Jesus Christ, who bore our sins and paid the price, we will embrace again. All praise and glory and honor belong to Jesus Christ.
A prayer:
I miss him so much Father. Fill me with the love of your son Jesus Christ. Turn my heart more fully to His work and the expansion of His kingdom. Help me to finish this race well, as you did my earthly father. Continue in me the good work until its completion. Till the day you call me home in your perfect timing and sovereign will.
In all things, for the glory of your son Jesus Christ. Make your glory known.
Come Lord Jesus.
